胡淑雯小說中的性(別)創傷書寫

Abstract

本文以胡淑雯小說中的性（別）創傷書寫為探討範圍，筆者意圖探討創傷是怎麼發生的，作家又從創作中體現怎樣的療癒觀，以及重複書寫如何成為一種展現創傷及療癒理念的行動手段。 性（別）創傷在胡淑雯筆下，不只是描繪性暴力所造就的傷害（如：性騷擾、性侵害），也指涉個體由於性別角色（特別是身為女性）之故，所受到父權體制規範的種種束縛、壓迫與角力。作家藉由小說所要抗衡的，一是父權體制下的社會倫理壓迫，父權體制對於女性、女體的各種規範，既箝制、也改變了小說人物的受害經驗，令她們在回顧受害經驗時，因社會規範的介入，一方面無法統合個人主觀感受與外在認知，進而造成了二度傷害；二方面又遭受「詮釋不正義」、「證言不正義」等雙重弱勢處境，不是尚未具備相關認知去陳述經驗，就是面臨嚴苛的受害者形象檢視。胡淑雯寫出這些受害人物如何看待傷害經驗，如何意識到外界審視，並以「解放」作為反抗社會規範，取回自己決定「受不受傷」的自主可能。

胡淑雯第二個要抗衡的，則是傳統對創傷的認知，她反對常人以為的「恢復」概念，認為「療癒沒有終點」，受創者只能在不斷記憶、感受及認識傷痛的過程中，與傷害共生共存。延續此概念，「重複書寫」就成為一種表現這種療癒觀的行動方法。筆者試圖以「創傷書寫」的定位去分析、探究其筆下「重複」特質的內涵：其小說反覆述說相似的故事，透過多種版本敘述，挑戰的就是對於結局的底定。當情節在小說被賦予意義後，她不要這就是唯一的意義，於是她透過一再地、重複地書寫相似的情節，強調的是意義的不斷變動、沒有最終版本。她所要顛覆的概念，是敘述固然能理解傷害、記憶傷害，卻也不意味著創傷就此了結。書寫並不代表，寫完了就此結束。當社會對受創者欠缺接納，不認可傷害確實存在過，書寫就不只是自我療癒，而是以反覆述說，作為強調傷害持續存在的作法。藉由小說辯證療癒的意涵，胡淑雯試圖翻轉常人對痊癒的狹隘認知，拓寬療癒的概念。

The main purpose of this paper is to analyze the sexuality and gender trauma in Shu-Wen Hu’s Novel. A writer trying to explain how trauma happened. Also, her point of view on trauma recovery and how repetitive method in her writing become her core concept of expressing trauma and healing from the inside out.In her understanding, sexuality and gender trauma are not only physical scars under sexual violence, like sexual harassment, sexual assault, etc., but especially express a single person under gender discrimination (especially as a woman) is struggling, suppressed, and mediating in the patriarchal system world. The writer, Shu-Wen Hu, confronted society with her novel and presented her point of view below. First, social ethics under patriarchalism naturally tends to suppress women in all circumstances. The restriction and regulations on the woman and their body under patriarchalism changed the victim characters’ experiences in the novel. Due to the interference of society regulations, victim characters were suffering from the discrepancy between subjective personal feelings and objective social understanding when they looked back on the past. This difference becomes another burden to their life as a woman. Even worse, the victim characters were under testimonial injustice and hermeneutical injustice. They were consistently facing difficult situations, like making a statement under limited or zero understanding of her right or facing extreme sociality screening and peer pressure to her victim role. Writer, Shu-Wen Hu, describes how victims take their place in their trauma. Sensing the examination from the society and using “Liberation” as a tool to against the rules, gaining back the possibility of choices that deciding not to get hurt.Second, the writer, Shu-Wen Hu, is challenging the traditional cognition of trauma. Generally, we believed that trauma can be cured. But in her mind, she believes it is an endless road in healing and we will never be the same again. People who have been traumatized are consistently learning how to live with the feeling and memories of trauma. To represent this special symbiotic connection, the writer uses a repetitive writing method to be her way to express this journey of recovery.

Using her understanding of traumatic writing to analyze and explore the meaning of repeat. Her novel keeps repeating a similar story but with descriptions from different angles and views. Presenting a new definition of how the story ends. When the writer writes similar scenes repetitively, the meaning of the ending has been consistently shifted by the content. Her main purpose is to show there should be more than one answer in the end and there is no final answer at the end of the story. We might be able to understand where and how trauma comes into our lives, but it doesn’t mean we will be able to end the trauma. Writing is just the beginning of accepting that our society lacks knowledge about traumatized people and is denying the harm that does exist. Repeating similar story not only emphasize the consistent harm from the trauma memories but also helps them to recover from the same trauma memories. By deconstructing the meaning in the novel, writer, Shu-Wen Hu, tries to flip the narrow concept of full recovery and expand it to a broader recovery spectrum.