難以割捨的籃乙夢：乙組籃球員之自我民族誌

Abstract

身為一個乙組籃球選手經歷兩次的膝蓋手術，本應退出校隊卻選擇留在球隊。本研究以自我民族誌(autoethnography)，探討下列問題：一、尋找我在經歷受傷的挫折後，如何面對生理、心理的傷痛，找出選擇繼續留在校隊中的原因；二、討論校隊的組織運作、內部成員互動如何影響「我」；三、反思「籃球」對於「乙組球員」(對於我) 的個人與社會意義。經過我的生命歷程回溯後可以發現一、參與校隊的過程中，「我」透過與團隊內的成員互動、交流產生自我與社會認同，進而形塑、找到自己的身份/認同，成為我受傷之後能堅持並續留球隊的主因；二、藉由團體動力的探討，得出校隊的生活除了養成我平時待人處事的習慣，不同階段的歷程與角色轉換，以及球隊學姊所留下的經驗分享更影響著我看待團隊的態度；三、經由認真休閒的特質進行分析、討論，得知我長期投入乙組校隊和受傷的經歷，使得「歸零」的價值觀與「傳承」的信念成為籃球對於我的主要個人意義與社會意義。

As a college basketball player, I’ve been through knee surgery twice. Generally speaking, I should have withdrawn from the school team, but through some events I have chosen to stay with the team. This study offers an autoethnography to discuss these problems：Firstly, how do I face the challenges physically and mentally after such serious injuries, and find out the reasons why I chose to stay on the team. Secondly, discuss how the team operation and interaction affects me. Finally, try to reflect on what"basketball" means to me on a personal and social level. Reviewing through my life course, it shows that：First, with the participation of the school basketball team, my identity has been shaped by the interactions and conversations which helped me realize who I am, and it became the main reason why I persisted in staying on the team. Second, through exploring group dynamics, I found out that the daily routine of school team’s life had developed my lifestyle and how I treat people. Different processes in different stages, role switching and the experiences that other teammates shared with me, affected my attitude of being as part of a team. Third, via scrutinizing six distinguishing qualities of serious leisure, it can be realized that knowing how to start afresh in any circumstances and passing down the culture of basketball are respectively the personal and social meaning that basketball gives to me.