在子女成年背影中，回首職業婦女的母職來時路― 中年職業婦女母職生活經驗之研究

Abstract

天下的媽媽都是一樣的？……是嗎？……有一群媽媽，不一樣！！！ 她們是臺灣曾有過的中年媽媽中最富裕、教育程度最高的媽媽，更特別的是，她們縱然結了婚，生了孩子，一邊幫孩子把屎把尿，一邊還是縱橫於職場，雙肩扛著工作與母職雙重重擔，從來未曾卸下過！現在，她們的孩子長大了，成年了，個個要奔向自己的人生，她們也即將走入人生下半場，望著孩子離去的背影，回首自己走過為人母親的歲月，她們，會怎麼描述這一段人生？ 她們的母職生活經驗，不只預告了她們的老年生活品質，關係著她們全家人的幸福，也是臺灣生育率的探照燈！我，有幸恭逢其時，我想，為這一段特別，留下紀錄！！！ 三位中年職業婦女自願參與研究，娓娓敘說她們曾有過的母職生活故事，我，運用生命歷程理論，串起她們的故事，梳理她們故事的脈絡，俯拾她們在框限環境中的自主行動力。發現，她們不斷、不斷在跟環境磋商：包括改變工作狀況、開通工作資源、訓練孩子生活能力；不斷、不斷在跟自己交戰：包括委屈自己來成就他人、違反本性以借用先生手段、在艱困中堅持為孩子做特別的事、為了累積能量而留意自我照顧；不斷、不斷在尋找在地資源組織「協同母職網」，就是要讓孩子受到周全的照顧，穩妥地長大！ 過程中，她們的時間必須以工作優先，母職則佔盡剩餘時間。稟持著不同程度的修正式母職意識，她們在母職實踐之路，或爭取，或退讓，或逆命地前進，一路上，生育時機、懷孕時的婚姻抉擇決定了母職生活的基調；經濟狀況、工作適穩、子女表現、孩子留不留在身邊都牽動著她們的母職神經；她們與婆婆、先生、娘家、托育照顧系統合縱、連橫，換手、接手子女照顧，以致於婆媳共居，夫妻共親職、娘家資源引介、托育照顧可使用性糾纏著她們的母職經歷。在缺乏公共資源協助下，她們篳路藍縷，一步一腳印，為的不是交換老年安養，只是為了完成照顧使命，體驗母職，經驗本身，已然可貴！Are all mothers the same under the heaven? ...... Are they? ...... A group of mothers are not the same!!! They are the most affluent and educated mothers among middle-aged mothers Taiwan have ever had. More particularly, even if they have got married and had children, while helping the children defecate and urine, they still worked in the workplace, bore the double burden of work and motherhood on their shoulders, which have never been removed! Now, their children have grown up, come of age. All of them are running toward their own life. They are also walking into the second half period of life. Looking at the sight of leaving their children’s back, looking back on their own years of motherhood they have gone through, how will they describe this section of life? Their life experiences of motherhood not only herald the quality of life in their old age, relate their whole families' well-being, but also are Taiwan's fertility beacon! I have the honor to come upon the times. I want to keep this passage in particular on record!!! Three middle-aged professional women volunteered to participate in this study, narrating tirelessly their life stories of motherhood. Making use of life course theory, I linked their stories, combed through their story context, and discovered their autonomous momentum in the environment. I found that they were constantly, constantly in consultation with the environment: including changes in working conditions, the opening of job resources, and training their children’s life skills. They were constantly, constantly at war with themselves: including putting up with their own grievances to accomplish others, borrowing husbands’ means contrary to their nature, with difficulty persisting in doing something special for the children, in order to accumulate energy paying attention to self-care. They were constantly, constantly looking at local resource organization "collaborative motherhood network". Their purpose was to take care of the children and grow up! During the process they had to regard work as priority. Motherhood fully occupied the remaining time. Modifying motherhood consciousness on different levels, on the road of motherhood they may strive for, or yield, or defy fate to move forward. Along the way, marital choice of fertility timing and pregnancy determined the tone of motherhood. Economic status, job fitness and stability, children's performance, and whether the children remain beside them affected their nerves. They took over the care for their children with mother-in-laws, husbands, parents’ families, and childcare system so that mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws lived together. Shared parenting between husbands and wives, introduction of their parent family resources, feasibility of childcare entangled their motherhood experience. In the absence of the assistance of public resources, they endured great hardships in pioneer work, step by step, not in order to exchange for old age nursing, just to complete the mission of caretaking, to experience motherhood. Experience itself is already valuable!