那些走路教會我的事–女性獨自徒步環島自我認同轉變之敘說研究

Abstract

本研究採用自我敘說研究方法，並使用小說體裁的書寫方式，將我的徒步環島經驗轉化為故事，其目的是在梳理自我經驗的過程中，重構內心的時序與位置並且解決我內心的困境，從中探究徒步環島如何影響自我認同的轉變，以及對於個人多層次的意義與影響。本研究將題目訂為「那些走路教會我的事」，是因文本內所呈現的「走路」，是一場為了自己「出走」，而逐步「走向內在真實自我」的意涵。故事內容係以徒步環島的起心動念、計畫行動、實際體驗及回歸生活的歷程依時間序書寫，逐步闡述研究者從2017年7月13日至8月14日，歷經31天，全長共937公里的逆時針徒步環島旅行的具體面貌。其中，經驗故事分為「起點」、「啟程」、「失衡」、「追尋」與「歸來」共五節，每節之區隔是考量自身心境在過程中的重大轉捩，文中並未有純然的理論闡釋。本文敘寫角度是以「我」的第一人稱視角為出發點，將真實經歷、場景變化、人物互動、內在對話與他人感受，以夾敘夾議的方式穿插出現。一方面是希望藉此更貼近、具體描述事件、關係的細節，使得我能更細膩的覺察，得以更清晰、完整地呈現徒步環島的脈絡與連續性。另一方面，則是考量讀者的需求，期盼能以輕鬆樸實的文字與自在的寫作筆調，引發讀者的興趣，邀請讀者隨我一起走出生活、走進故事，跟著「文本我」身心、時空的轉移，不斷地變換閱讀的角度，從中探尋徒步環島的生命意義。同時，也期盼透過分享自己的故事，引發那些和我一樣迷失自我、渴望找到自身意義的、或是想要出走的人們，勇敢地克服內心的聲音與恐懼，踩踏出屬於自己的生命故事。The present study adopted the method of self-narrative and utilized a novelistic writing style to transform my experience of walking around Taiwan into a story. The aim of this study is to restructure the internal sequence and location of my self-experience and to resolve the inner struggles through the process of sorting out personal experiences. The study also explores how walking around Taiwan affects the transformation of the author’s self-identity and the multilevel meanings and influences it has on my personal development.In this study, the topic is titled “Lessons From Walking,” which explores the meaning of walking as “a process of running away from oneself and self-discovery toward inner truth.”The story was written in chronological order, describing the author’s experience of a 31-day, 937-kilometer counterclockwise walking journey around Taiwan from July 13, 2017, to August 14, 2017, including the initial idea, planning, actual experience, and return to daily life. The experiential narrative was divided into five sections: “starting point”, “departure”, “imbalance”, “pursuit”, and “return.” The sections represent significant emotional turning points in the researcher’s journey. The story was presented in an experiential form, and there is no pure theoretical explanation in the text, and the study did not provide purely theoretical explanations.This study was written from a “first-person” perspective, using a narrative approach that intersperses real experiences, scene changes, character interactions, internal dialogue, and others’ feelings. On the one hand, I intended to provide a more detailed and concrete description of the events and relationships, allowing for a more nuanced awareness and a clearer, more complete presentation of the context and continuity of the experience of walking around Taiwan. On the other hand, the reader's needs are considered, with the hope that the relaxed and natural writing style will arouse their interest, inviting them to join me in leaving behind everyday life and entering into the story, shift their perspectives, and seek the meaning of life through the experience of walking around Taiwan. Finally, it is hoped to inspire those who, like myself, feel lost themselves, seek to find their own meaning or those who wish to run away from their current situation. Through sharing personal experiences, the author hopes to encourage them to bravely face their inner voices and fears, and embark on their own life stories.