記憶的隙縫–花園私語

Abstract

本文主要探討以繪畫作為單一畫面或連續影像進入的記憶深層，記憶中的微小畫面猶如影像播映時停格的片段，成為了一種可以進得去的內在空間。我以自身的生命角度切入，透過殘存的日常私密記憶，再現自身的記憶空間與事件。在繪畫的過程中視為一個連接內在的通道，得以進入一個想像的空間或是一個私密的情感空間。召喚生命重要的歷程以及傷痛，並且重新審視與還原，重新揭開隱匿於表層之下的情懷與癥結。 我以平面視覺圖像所呈現的象徵性、可閱性、敘事性以及繪畫語言組構出內在難以言喻的情感和生活面貌。以繪畫作品為主要說明的對象以及文學或影像作品作為輔佐展開此文本的脈絡，以不同創作形式的可能性作為相互交織的序列。本論文共分為五章。第一章是創作的動機與目的，提出存在主義與文學說明心理狀態與生活現實。第二章是繪畫性的分析。第三章是有關於記憶與夢境的迴流，找回生命原初的慾望和意義。並參照電影閱讀方法及美學來呼應創作脈絡和構成方式。第四章是心理分析與藝術家。第五章是回應此文本的主題從荒謬性看見意義。最後為結論以及日後研究方向的探討。This thesis mainly discusses how to get into a deep level of memory by painting a single picture or continuous images, which becomes an internal space that can be entered. Just like a stagnating partial image of a film explains a tiny piece of memory. Taking my own life as an example, I could reproduce my memory space and life period through the remaining daily private memories. The process of painting is regarded as a channel to connect to the inner self, allowing access to an imaginary void or a private emotional space. Summon the important course of life and pain, and re-examine and restore, reveal the feelings and cruxes hidden under the surface. The indescribable emotion and life were constructed through symbolism, readability, narrative and graphic language presented by flat visual images. Taking paintings as the main object of description and literary or video works as a supplement to expand the context of this text. Simultaneously, using the possibility of these different creation forms as an interwoven sequence. This thesis is divided into five chapters. The first chapter is the motive and purpose of creation, and puts forward existentialism and literature to explain the psychological state and reality of life. The second chapter is the analysis of painting. The third chapter is about the return of memories and dreams, and how it retrieves the original state of desire and meaning of life. Refering to the movie reading methods and aesthetics, this thesis corresponds with the context and composition of the creation. The fourth chapter is psychoanalysis and artists. The fifth chapter is to respond to the topic of this text and see the meaning from the absurdity. Finally, it comes to the conclusion and discusses the direction of future researches.