我們與愛的距離—成年早期母胎單身男性愛情態度敘事研究

Abstract

單身人口的增加，使單身逐漸成為一種世界趨勢。相較於一般單身，「母胎單身」名詞的出現，使從未有過戀愛經驗的人似乎是「特別的」或「讓人好奇的」。其中，對於母胎單身男性，目前更未見相關研究。因此，本研究以敘說方式，呈現七位成年早期母胎單身男性的愛情態度。七位男性雖然從未正式進入過愛情關係，但從敘說中可以發現，他們在認識愛情、面對愛情，其實都有一定的認知，並且會因為愛情而有情感與行為的展現。本研究發現，處在成年早期的母胎單身男性對愛情有以下態度與特色：一、母胎單身男性肯定愛情的重要性，不排斥進入愛情關係，也期待穩定的愛情關係。但會思考 愛情的必要性。此外，對於愛情仍多停留在「想」 的部分，並將個人感受納入考量的重心，重於對愛情關係的渴求。二、母胎單身男性會有主動追求異性的行為，但經過工作、失敗經驗或個人思考與選擇後，現下對愛情較無積極行動。即使會從失敗的經驗學習與反思，但面對愛情，多將主導權交由運氣或緣分，表現出等待、隨緣、順其自然的態度，對愛以平常心看待。三、面對愛情，母胎單身男性較少自我揭露，也因未進入愛情關係而感受 過孤獨、自我懷疑、不自信、焦慮等較偏向負面的情感狀態。四、母胎單身男性對愛情的態度受到自我生命歷程中不同的因素牽動， 從中形成、轉變與發展。從幼時起，多元的因素便形塑母胎單身男性初始對愛情的認知，並透過自我效能、家庭、與朋友的互動、社會文化等因素相互作用，使個人在生命歷程中不斷調整自己的愛情態度。本研究藉由與母胎單身男性的互動與對話，讓母胎單身男性有發聲的機會，也增加大眾對於母胎單身男性的認識。除此之外，透過經驗的敘說，提供母胎單身者參考反思與學習的視角，使個人不管在有沒有愛情的狀態，都能達到平衡與自己最舒適的生活姿態。最後，本研究不僅展現母胎單身男性不同樣貌，亦提供未來家庭教育、情感教育等教育相關建議，並期盼拓展男性學術研究多元性。The increase in the single population has gradually become a global trend. Compared to general single individuals, the emergence of the term"母胎單身（people who never had love experience）" makes those who have never experienced love seem "special" or "intriguing." Currently, there is a lack of research specifically focused on men who have never had a love experience. Therefore, this study, using a narrative approach, presents the attitudes toward the love of seven men who are in early adulthood and have never had a love experience. Although these seven men have never formally entered into romantic relationships, it can be observed fromtheir narratives that they have a certain level of understanding when it comes to recognizing and facing love, and also exhibit emotional and behavioral expressions influenced by love. This study discovered the following attitudes and characteristics regarding love among early adulthood men who have never had a love experience:i. They acknowledge the importance of love, do not reject entering into a romantic relationship, and also look forward to a stable love relationship. However, they contemplate the necessity of love. Furthermore, their perception of love mostly remains in the realm of"thinking," and they prioritize personal feelings when considering love, focusing more on their own experiences rather than longing for a romantic relationship. ii. They engage in the proactive pursuit of the opposite sex, but after considering personal thoughts, choices, work, and past failures, they currently display less active behavior toward love. Although they learn and reflect on their failed experiences, they tend to relinquish control over love, attributing it to luck or fate. They adopt an attitude of waiting, going with the flow, and letting things unfold naturally, treating love with equanimity.iii. They reveal less about themselves when it comes to love. They have experienced negative emotional states such as loneliness, self-doubt, lack of confidence, and anxiety due to not entering into a romantic relationship.iv. Their attitude towards love is influenced by various factors throughout their life journey, which shape, transform, and develop their perceptions. From childhood, diverse factors shape their initial understanding of love. Through interactions with self-efficacy, family, friends, societal culture, and other elements, individuals continuously adjust their attitudes towards love throughout their life journey.This study provides the opportunity for the man who never had a love experience to express themselves through interaction and conversation, increasing public awareness of their experiences. Additionally, through narrative storytelling, it offers reflections and learning perspectives for those who have never had a love experience, enabling individuals to achieve balance and find their most comfortable lifestyle regardless of their romantic status. Finally, this study not only showcases the different faces of the man who never had a love experience but also provides suggestions for future research on family education, emotional education, and other related fields, aiming to expand the diversity of academic studies on men.