諮商歷程中兩對兩性伴侶情感關係衝突協調之研究
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2007
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本研究之目的是探究在台灣/華人社會文化的變遷脈絡下,兩性伴侶於情感關係中,既要追求自我需要的滿足,同時又要顧及伴侶關係之維繫需要的滿足,而這兩方面需要的滿足產生衝突時,個人如何在其中達成衝突協調。本研究之研究問題分別為:1.在伴侶諮商中,兩性伴侶的情感關係及自我的衝突與協調之主要議題為何?2.兩性伴侶於其情感關係衝突中,所呈現出來的互動模式與互動關係為何?3.在伴侶諮商中,促進兩性伴侶情感關係衝突協調組成成分為何?以及4.在伴侶諮商中,兩性伴侶情感關係衝突協調的結果為何?
本研究之研究參與者為兩對年約三十歲、未婚,且在其情感關係中正有關係衝突或協調困擾之兩性伴侶,他們分別參與在一個混合著個別諮商與伴侶諮商的諮商歷程中。本研究取得兩對伴侶於混合諮商歷程中,共十一次之伴侶諮商晤談資料,其中一對為六次,而另一對則有五次晤談資料。研究者採用質的研究方法,參考紮根理論之開放編碼與主軸編碼程序,來做為資料分析之步驟。
綜合資料分析結果,本研究從兩對伴侶於伴侶諮商晤談的資料中,抽取出兩性伴侶情感關係衝突協調之核心主題與次核心主題,其中一對伴侶有三個核心主題,另一對伴侶有一個核心主題,而這四個核心主題分別還包括了以下五個次核心主題:
1.情感關係衝突:共分為兩類,一類著重在兩性伴侶於情感關係中,關係互動與關係期待的衝突問題上,另一類則為兩性伴侶在其原生家庭關係與兩性伴侶情感關係中,有著優先順序上的衝突問題。
2.情感關係中的自我衝突:共有五類,分別為「直接或抑制表達自我的衝突」、「關注自我或關注對方的衝突」、「主導或尊重對方的衝突」、「結束或繼續關係的衝突」,與「被依附需要與不被依附需要的衝突」。
3.互動模式與互動關係:互動模式上包含有「情緒相互牽連」、「一方主動直接溝通一方逃避隱藏」、「一方承接情緒一方宣洩情緒」、「一方生氣指責一方以不變應萬變」,與「一方積極主導一方選擇性配合」之互動模式;互動關係上包含有「順從配合卻有情緒」、「抑制自我需要表達」、「顧慮配合卻有情緒」、「各自堅持無法妥協」,與「無法完全承諾」之互動關係。
4.伴侶諮商中促進情感關係衝突協調組成成分:共有九類,分別為「有改變的意願與動機」、「清楚表達自己的需要」、「有充分的表達與溝通」、「增進對自我與關係的覺察」、「感受到彼此的關心與善意」、「願意表達出對彼此的肯定與感謝」、「有信心處理關係的問題」、「有照顧彼此需要的意願與行動」,與「期待建立新的溝通模式」。
5.情感關係衝突協調的結果:兩對伴侶透過諮商中的情感關係衝突協調,其中一對伴侶有效改善與處理其情感關係衝突,而獲得較佳之情感關係衝突協調的結果,並增進彼此情感的連結與關係的親密,另一對伴侶則是仍然在其情感關係衝突上各自堅持,而無法獲得彼此都滿意之情感關係衝突協調的結果。
研究者根據研究結果,與相關的研究文獻進行討論,另外再從兩性伴侶情感關係衝突協調之性別觀點,以及從諮商歷程中促進兩性伴侶情感關係衝突協調之觀點一一探討。文末說明本研究之研究限制,並根據研究發現,針對兩性伴侶情感關係的衝突與協調、兩性伴侶情感關係衝突協調之諮商實務工作,與未來之相關研究提出建議。
The purpose of the current research is to examine how individuals coordinates needs between individual satisfaction and maintaining relationship in couple relationship under the Taiwan/Chinese cultural transition when conflicts of these two types of need exist. The research questions were: 1) what are the major issues of the relationship which causes conflict within self and the action to coordinate in couple counseling? 2) what are the interaction pattern and interaction relation between the couple in conflict? 3) in couple counseling, what components facilitate the couples to coordinate in their relationship? And, 4) in couple counseling, what is the result of conflict-coordinating in these conflicts? The participants of this study were two couples around 30 years of age, unmarried, and were having conflicts or difficulty in coordinating individual and relational needs. Each couple was involved in the counseling sessions which combined individual and couple counseling. This research obtained a total of eleven tape-recorded sessions in couple counseling of the participants. The first pair of couple had six sessions while the other couple had five sessions. A qualitative approach using reference to open coding and selective coding in Grounded Theory was adapted to analyze the data. Following the data analysis, the researcher wrote up the relational issues of these two couples based on the results of data analysis. Integrating the results form data analysis, primary and secondary core relational issues of coordinating in conflicts were extracted from the studied two couples. The first one couples had three core issues and the second couple had one. These four core issues consist of the follow five sub-categories of core issues. The contents of these sub-categories are articulated as follows: 1. Conflicts in the relationship: this theme consist of two categories: the first one emphasizes on the problem of interaction and expectation in the relationship and the second one focus on conflict of different priority between family of original and the couple relationship. 2. inner conflict within self: five categories were developed in this category including “conflict in expressing self directly or suppressing”, “conflict between in caring for self versus the other”, “conflict between being directive and being respectful”, “conflict in either terminate or retain the relationship”, and “conflict in the whether or not to be attached”. 3. pattern and interaction in relation: this issue comprises of five categories including “emotional ties”, “one initiate direct communication, the other is avoidant”, “one receive emotions, the other wants catharsis”, “one angrily criticize, the other remains calm”, and “one is actively directive, the other cooperate selectively”; interaction relation include “obedient cooperation with emotions”, “suppress the need to express self”, “apprehend cooperation with emotions”, and “cannot make promises”. 4. components that facilitate the couple to coordinate in the relationship: nine categories were developed including “motivation and willingness to change”, “clearly expression of one’s own needs”, “sufficient communication”, “enhancing awareness of self and the relationship”, “feeling each other’s care and goodwill”, “willing to express affirmation and appreciation”, “having confidence in dealing with problems in the relationship”, “willingness and action to take care of each other’s needs”, and “expectation to establish new communication patterns”. 5. results of conflict-coordinating in the relationship: both couples tried to coordinate in their relational dilemma through counseling; one couple was effective in improving their relationship, dealing with conflicts, gained better results, and increased the relationship ties and intimacy. However, the other couple was insistent in their conflicts, hence was not able to obtain a satisfactory conflict- coordinating result for both partners. Comparison of the findings in the current research with previous research was made based on the research result with special focuses on perspectives from gender difference and conflict-coordinating in couple counseling. At the end of the thesis, the research limitations, recommendation for counseling and future research with regard to relationship conflicts and coordinates were highlighted
The purpose of the current research is to examine how individuals coordinates needs between individual satisfaction and maintaining relationship in couple relationship under the Taiwan/Chinese cultural transition when conflicts of these two types of need exist. The research questions were: 1) what are the major issues of the relationship which causes conflict within self and the action to coordinate in couple counseling? 2) what are the interaction pattern and interaction relation between the couple in conflict? 3) in couple counseling, what components facilitate the couples to coordinate in their relationship? And, 4) in couple counseling, what is the result of conflict-coordinating in these conflicts? The participants of this study were two couples around 30 years of age, unmarried, and were having conflicts or difficulty in coordinating individual and relational needs. Each couple was involved in the counseling sessions which combined individual and couple counseling. This research obtained a total of eleven tape-recorded sessions in couple counseling of the participants. The first pair of couple had six sessions while the other couple had five sessions. A qualitative approach using reference to open coding and selective coding in Grounded Theory was adapted to analyze the data. Following the data analysis, the researcher wrote up the relational issues of these two couples based on the results of data analysis. Integrating the results form data analysis, primary and secondary core relational issues of coordinating in conflicts were extracted from the studied two couples. The first one couples had three core issues and the second couple had one. These four core issues consist of the follow five sub-categories of core issues. The contents of these sub-categories are articulated as follows: 1. Conflicts in the relationship: this theme consist of two categories: the first one emphasizes on the problem of interaction and expectation in the relationship and the second one focus on conflict of different priority between family of original and the couple relationship. 2. inner conflict within self: five categories were developed in this category including “conflict in expressing self directly or suppressing”, “conflict between in caring for self versus the other”, “conflict between being directive and being respectful”, “conflict in either terminate or retain the relationship”, and “conflict in the whether or not to be attached”. 3. pattern and interaction in relation: this issue comprises of five categories including “emotional ties”, “one initiate direct communication, the other is avoidant”, “one receive emotions, the other wants catharsis”, “one angrily criticize, the other remains calm”, and “one is actively directive, the other cooperate selectively”; interaction relation include “obedient cooperation with emotions”, “suppress the need to express self”, “apprehend cooperation with emotions”, and “cannot make promises”. 4. components that facilitate the couple to coordinate in the relationship: nine categories were developed including “motivation and willingness to change”, “clearly expression of one’s own needs”, “sufficient communication”, “enhancing awareness of self and the relationship”, “feeling each other’s care and goodwill”, “willing to express affirmation and appreciation”, “having confidence in dealing with problems in the relationship”, “willingness and action to take care of each other’s needs”, and “expectation to establish new communication patterns”. 5. results of conflict-coordinating in the relationship: both couples tried to coordinate in their relational dilemma through counseling; one couple was effective in improving their relationship, dealing with conflicts, gained better results, and increased the relationship ties and intimacy. However, the other couple was insistent in their conflicts, hence was not able to obtain a satisfactory conflict- coordinating result for both partners. Comparison of the findings in the current research with previous research was made based on the research result with special focuses on perspectives from gender difference and conflict-coordinating in couple counseling. At the end of the thesis, the research limitations, recommendation for counseling and future research with regard to relationship conflicts and coordinates were highlighted
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伴侶情感關係諮商, 情感關係衝突協調, couple relational counseling, relational conflict coordination