無聲的騷亂──獨處與中介狀態繪畫創作研究

Abstract

不管我們是否準備好，生活總是不斷推擠著人們向前，往往要等到停下腳步獨處時，才得以好好和自己在一起、感受自我當下生命狀態。「獨處」常被與寂寞不安等感受連結，但許多實例也證明獨處有助於自我覺察與靈性頓悟，並不全是負面價值。獨處時的我，是與自己最接近的時候，既有卸下人格面具的放鬆自在，但也有莫名的騷亂不安──一種介於平靜和混亂之間的狀態，也是真切感受到自己作為「人」存在的狀態。本創作研究以我生活中隱微的混沌不安感受為起點，透過「獨處」作為一種召喚儀式，將自己從社會生活及人際網絡中剝離，專注於探討這些感受及其根源，透過創作過程與之互動，除了向內自我探索，並將之轉化為個人創作養份外，也期望透過研究過程的記錄與研究成果的分享，可供相關藝術創作者及後續研究參考。本研究採取McNiff藝術本位研究觀點「透過無法預測的創作探索過程來理解事物」設計研究步驟，使創作過程與文獻史料分析在研究過程中相互回饋、補充，最後整理歷程紀錄，完成論文撰寫。章節架構安排，第一章「緒論」說明研究動機與目的、研究方法與步驟、研究範圍、限制與解決辦法；第二章「研究理論探討」梳理相關理論文獻，建構本研究理論基礎及架構；第三章「相關藝術作品分析」探討並比較與研究主題相關且對個人創作具啟發性的藝術作品、藝術家及風格流派；第四章「創作理念與實踐」說明創作理念、形式內容、媒材技法與操作步驟；第五章「作品說明」介紹作品並說明創作意圖；第六章「結論與省思」以研究結論與自我省思作結。Life always pushes people forward relentlessly, waiting for no one. Only by detaching ourselves from the busyness of daily life and spending time alone can we truly connect with ourselves and experience the state of our inner being.Although many people associate"being alone" or "solitude" with loneliness, solitude is much more than that. Research has shown that being alone can foster self-awareness and spiritual enlightenment. In solitude, I feel most like myself when and usually experience a state between calmness and chaos. It is during these moments that I feel the most connected to my own existence as a human being in this world. This thesis is inspired by the subtle feelings of chaos that I experience in daily life. I use solitude as a tool to evoke these feelings by disconnecting myself from social interactions, exploring them more deeply through painting practice. This study aims not only to integrate these experiences into my practice but also serve as a preliminary reference for relevant artists and future studies by sharing the research outcomes.To design my study, I adopted McNiff's art-based research approach, which allowed painting practice and text analysis to complement each other during the research process. After gathering the necessary materials throughout the course of my research, I wrote and ultimately completed my thesis, which is structured as follows. Chapter I "Introduction" outlines the motivation, objectives, methodology, limitations, and solutions of my study; Chapter II "Literature Review" provides a theoretical foundation by reviewing relevant literature; Chapter III" Historical Art-works Analysis" compares historical artworks that have inspired me; Chapter IV "Painting Practice" presents my creative concepts, form, content, media, and artistic techniques. Chapter V "Works" displays and explains my works; Chapter VI "Conclusion and Reflection" concludes the thesis and provides reflection.