男同志分手經驗之轉化學習

Abstract

由於社會對於同志族群會有傳統的刻板印象,對於同志伴侶的確 是缺乏一個關係經營的支持系統,儘管有許多的伴侶努力經營,但缺 乏社會保障,沒有婚姻制度,造成許多伴侶比異性戀分手更頻繁,因 此在許多次分手的情況下,每次都會有所改變。從前述的背景當中, 本研究目的想了解失戀者所遇到的分手的難題與難關後,如何面對自 己,再重新建立自我價值,重新建立自我價值，及其中的轉化學習。。

而在研究方法上,本研究使用質性研究,而研究對象為以年滿十八歲且具分手經驗,並只認同自己為同性戀者為對象,再透過與他們 多次的深度訪談的紀錄以獲得研究資料。進而透過分析、詮釋與文獻資料的對照，以達成研究目的。

進本研究結果:可以發現同志伴侶會有內部與外部的挑戰,外部 包括刻板印象、結婚壓力、家庭是否支持與支持程度等,而內部挑戰 包括相處模式、衝突處理、性外遇等,但經歷分手的痛苦還是會試圖 與前伴侶保持朋友關係,思考的轉化上也從不積極的面對，轉為更加積極挑戰與投資自己；對於戀愛的態度也轉為從多次的失戀經驗中成為往後成功戀情的基石，從經驗中學習，用更理性來面對愛情分手。

在結論與建議方面，希望這個社會給更多的空間給同志朋友，在思想上的，權利上與各學門的討論上，可以用更開放的角度來重視同志朋友的權利與問題，另外在諮商工作者的方面，也以多接觸同志族群方面的資訊，提升知能。當同志朋友提出需求，也可以給與專業且適合同志的建議與幫助。Due to the stereotype impression on gay, gay companions are lack of a relationship supporting systems. Without the society commitment and legal marriage system, gay couples are having a higher breakup rate than heterosexual couples, even though many gay couples put more efforts in their relationships. In the situation of higher breakup rate, they are more likely to learn and improve in dealing with relationship. Under this basis, the study focus on the failure in love—what is the difficulty in changing, how to face the true self, and rebuilt self-esteem.

In terms of study method , qualitative method is in use ; the interviewees are minimum aged 18 , who have break-up experiences and recognize themselves as gay. Complete data are allocated through detailed interviews. The creditability is based on cross analysis of data and literature review.

The result of study shows that gay companions face challenges from both internal and external; the external challenges are stereotype impression, marriage thrust, family support (and the standard of support); the internal challenges includes getting along with each other ,having an affair etc.. However, interviews tend to maintain friendship with their previous companions , and tend to be more positive , willing to take challenges and invent in themselves. In addition, interviewees are more likely to acquire stable future love relationship since they have many past heartbreaking experiences. They have learnt from past and deal with break-up in a more rational and mature way.

In conclusion, the author expects the society could offer more and more space for gay in variety respects, such as space , thoughts, rights and professional subjects. There should be more open angle to reinforce gay groups` rights and issue. In terms of psychological consultant, they should learn more information about gay , thus, gay group could be offered professional and immediate help when needed.