從微光裡看見豔彩 ── 一位視覺障礙運動員的生命故事

Abstract

「視覺」始終是人們長久以來賴與世界溝通的媒介與基礎。然而，「視覺宰制」所衍生的衝突卻是充斥地渲染文中，更多內省的身體感知與心靈意念，毅然擊襲了整齣生命的寧靜與際遇。本研究旨在探究一位視覺障礙運動員投入運動訓練前後的歷程轉折、期望、掙扎與主觀經驗。研究對象不僅是一位弱視視障者，其右手掌更是天生就已萎縮，因此，在其充斥著糾結與內省的生命歷程中，都是值得探究與記錄的動容故事。研究的文本分析方法將透過深度訪談，將敘說資料進行系統性的分析、歸納與探討，並且依循時間脈絡的主題方式呈現，解析文本及敘說情節中所蘊含的深層意義。研究結果發現，在敘說者豐采的大學、冠軍與國手光環下，仍深知視覺及身體上的限制，是何以牽絆著生命的苦痛與鬱結；而視力的退化，更讓其深懼而長久地等待暗黑的召喚；如能有所選擇，敘說者更願意捨去田徑生命中的一切榮耀與金牌，只為換取與一般明眼人一樣的完好視力，並永遠享賴視覺所賦予生命的虛實與色調。此外，從研究的「學術面」發現，透過個體的敘說探究，呈現出生命的啟發性與其獨特的貢獻。然而，生命是齣無限展演的點線與畫面，本研究侑於研究者能力與時間等限制，僅以單一敘說者之研究呈現，對於後續相關研究，建議融入更多元的史料與檔案之彙整，以及重要他人之敘說連結分析，將生命的深意與廣喻更加完展體現。Since vision has been used as a media to communicate with people, it plays a crucial role in people’s life. The goal of the research is to inquire into a visually impaired athlete’s life about his expectation on the training course, and the feelings of struggling within the training process. The object of this research not only is partially visually impaired, but his right palm of the hand was inborn-withered. Therefore, his life filled introspection is worthy inquiring into with recorded story. The method of the text analysis is to let the object narrate his story, and the object‘s life story will be regarded as the whole, we will understand the whole significant story through the plot the analysis narrated. Although the object has colorful university life and won many champions, he eventually hopes his vision can be completely normal, and enjoys life just like other average people. Through the story, we can see the reality of a visually impaired athlete’s life with brightness and darkness.