愛的力量—從經歷哥哥車禍死亡看見自己及家人的哀傷與韌力之自我敘說研究

Abstract

愛的力量— 從經歷哥哥車禍死亡看見自己及家人的 哀傷與韌力之自我敘說研究

摘 要 本論文是研究者以車禍遺族的身分，透過「自我敘說」的方式，探究二十一年前哥哥車禍死亡的衝擊，對其本身及家庭造成的影響，是一趟個人和家庭的哀傷療癒之旅。 研究者從回溯自己對哥哥車禍喪生的記憶、個人的成長故事、及生命中的其他親友死亡經驗，重新審視自己，理解到陪伴是滋養他生命的泉源，引發其對疏離現代人缺乏支持網絡的擔憂，以及面對他人的喪慟，我們似乎選擇沉默以對的社會現象反思；對生命無常及哀傷調適，從見山是山、見山不是山、見山又是山的體驗過程，理解喪親是整個世界觀的瓦解，哀傷調適是意義重建的過程，然而，對於某些人將生命意義建構在社會文化對角色的認同時，面臨喪親會阻礙其意義的重建，導致哀傷療癒的路變得更漫長；對家庭共同經歷喪慟後，用「愛」療癒彼此創傷的體會，看到家庭韌力的展現；最後，回顧自己成長故事發現自己生命韌力，重新得力的過程。 研究者透過自我敘說體會到，喪親的哀傷是需要談的，然而，反觀我們的生活環境似乎還是禁忌談論「死亡」，也許該從基本的生死教育做起，才能營造一個能談論死亡、能療癒哀傷的環境。有了這樣的環境，喪親遺族才能在準備好談論哀傷時，不用因為太多的顧忌與擔心而繼續壓抑，以致於阻礙了自己步上哀傷療癒的道路。

關鍵字：自我敘說、車禍、車禍遺族、失落、哀傷、創傷、韌力、家庭韌力The Power of Love— A Self-Narrative Research of Experiencing Self and Family’s Grief and Resilience after Brother’s Death from a Car Accident

Huang Shiao-Ling

Abstract

In this thesis, the researcher, a bereaved family of a car accident, adopts “self-narrative” approach to explore the impact of her brother’s death twenty-one years ago on herself and the whole family. It is a course of grief healing for her and the family. The researcher re-examines herself by looking back to her memory about the death of her brother, her personal life story and the experience of other relatives or friends’ death in her life. She then realizes that being accompanied is the source that nourishes her life. The researcher also worries about the lack of support network in this alienated modern society. She reflects the social phenomenon that people seem to choose to remain silent when facing others’ deep grief. Facing the unforeseen nature and grief adjustment, the researcher experiences the change of mindset: it is simple and direct in the beginning, and then it changes to be more complicated and bewildering, and finally it becomes mature and broad-minded. She comprehends that bereavement means the disruption of the entire world outlook, and grief adjustment is a process of meaning reconstruction. For some people, however, when they construct the meaning of life upon social culture’s identification with their roles, bereavement may then hinder the reconstruction of the meaning, which may prolong the process of grief healing. After experiencing the deep grief, the family use “love” to heal the trauma, which demonstrates the tenacity of her family. In the end, the researcher discovers her own resilience to life by retrospecting to her grow-up stories. Through self-narrative analysis, the researcher realizes that the grief of bereavement needs to be articulated. Nevertheless, discussion of “death” seems to be a taboo in our living environment. Probably by starting from the promotion of life and death education, we can establish an environment where people can discuss death and heal grief. In this kind of environment, when the bereaved family are ready to talk about grief, they don’t need to keep oppressing themselves because of the scruple and worry, and the road of grief healing will not be blocked.

Key Words: self-narrative; car accident; bereaved family of a car accident; loss; grief; trauma; resilience; family resilience