提早學習獨自面對人生──思覺失調症患者女兒的成長故事
Abstract
本研究為質性取向的自我敘說研究，以自我敘說文本為主、過往自陳文字紀錄為輔，將研究者的身為思覺失調症患者女兒的成長經驗再次呈現。研究程序先以第一人稱的研究參與者視角切入，專注於面對母親罹病的成長經驗，覺察經驗中的感受，並將敘述謄寫成為文本，將記憶中的經驗再現。而後以第三人稱的研究者視角進行文本分析，解構與統整資料，梳理脈絡。最後重構經驗，為家人罹病賦予新的意義，並探討「唯一照顧者」成長經驗造成的影響。研究結果主要有三：一、研究參與者在回顧過往經驗的爬梳中，認為「母親罹患思覺失調症」、「遇到高中班導」、「成為教師」為其成長經驗中對自己人生影響最大的三個事件。二、面對家人罹患思覺失調症，「女兒」與「照顧者」的角色協調，以及「過好自己的生活」與「照顧生病的母親」的任務兼顧，對於研究參與者而言都有很大的困難度；但此心理調適經驗使其發現：母親罹患思覺失調症對其而言的意義是學習「抉擇」與「釋懷」的考驗。三、作為思覺失調症病患的唯一照顧者，此成長經驗使研究參與者提早學習到「人生本孤獨」的哲理。上述研究結果，望能供醫療、社扶與教育單位參考精障家庭中青少年的處境，以期使該族群得到需要的協助。
This research is a qualitative oriented self-narrative study, with self-narrative texts as the mainstay, and past self-reporting text records as a supplement, re-presenting the researcher's growth experience as the daughter of a schizophrenic patient. The research procedure is first approached from the perspective of the first-person, focusing on the self-experience of facing the mother's illness, perceiving the feelings through the experience, transcribing into text, and allowing the experience to reappear. The text analysis is then carried out from the perspective of the third-person researcher, deconstructs and integrates the data, and then sorts out the context. Finally, theresearch reconstructs the experience, giving it new meaning, and discusses the impact of such experience as the"only caregiver." There are three main results of the study: 1. The research participant believes that "mother suffering from schizophrenia," "encountering high school's home room teacher," and "becoming a teacher" are the three events that have the greatest impact in life. 2. In the face of family members suffering from schizophrenia, taking both the roles of "daughter and caregiver," and the tasks of "living one's own life and caring for sick mother," are extremely difficult to the participant. However, the experience has allowed the participant to realize that the meaning of her mother's illness is a test of learning to choose and let go. 3. As the "only caregiver" for patients with schizophrenia, the growth experience makes the participant learn early that "life is lonely." Above research hopes to provide better understanding for medical, family and children institutions to give the right help.
This research is a qualitative oriented self-narrative study, with self-narrative texts as the mainstay, and past self-reporting text records as a supplement, re-presenting the researcher's growth experience as the daughter of a schizophrenic patient. The research procedure is first approached from the perspective of the first-person, focusing on the self-experience of facing the mother's illness, perceiving the feelings through the experience, transcribing into text, and allowing the experience to reappear. The text analysis is then carried out from the perspective of the third-person researcher, deconstructs and integrates the data, and then sorts out the context. Finally, theresearch reconstructs the experience, giving it new meaning, and discusses the impact of such experience as the"only caregiver." There are three main results of the study: 1. The research participant believes that "mother suffering from schizophrenia," "encountering high school's home room teacher," and "becoming a teacher" are the three events that have the greatest impact in life. 2. In the face of family members suffering from schizophrenia, taking both the roles of "daughter and caregiver," and the tasks of "living one's own life and caring for sick mother," are extremely difficult to the participant. However, the experience has allowed the participant to realize that the meaning of her mother's illness is a test of learning to choose and let go. 3. As the "only caregiver" for patients with schizophrenia, the growth experience makes the participant learn early that "life is lonely." Above research hopes to provide better understanding for medical, family and children institutions to give the right help.
Description
Keywords
自我敘說, 成長經驗, 思覺失調症, 精神疾患家屬, self-narrative, growth experience, schizophrenia, relatives of people with mental illness